A penny for a thought.

I don't know why.

But I just got this sudden urge to pour out certain feelings running through my mind.

Maybe because i recently read a good book.
"Tuesdays with Morrie".

It kind of teaches me about life.

How we see life?

What is important in life?


Or maybe because i recently visited my grandmother..

The simplicity in life.

No wanting anything superficial.

Anything.

I gave her one of my pottery work.
A little box. Probably my first hand-made gift to her,
other than some photos that i've developed for her.

Do you see life as half-filled or half-empty?

I have something to say...

Something simple?

Or maybe not.

I hope there's a magical mirror,
BUT unlike the one in "Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs"I don't want something that tells me, "Who the fairest / prettiest..."

It means nothing to me...

But what i want to hear...

Probably is...

"Who's the truthful-est of them all?"

Maybe that?

Or maybe something even better,
something that tells me,
"You are a ___________ girl.
Therefore, you should...."

I need advices.

To change for the better.

Maybe i do have some.

From my daily life.

Which of you will say you're my true friend?

Those reading this post,
or rather, this blog.

You are really one of my trusted ones.

However, one ever asked me,
"You treat them as best friends, but do they treat you as one?"

This is something i could never answer.

I have no answer for that.

And i can never have.

There are many things beyond my control.

But yet, it doesn't matter.

Or maybe it does matter to me.

Just that i kept quiet.

Try to ignore.

Isn't ignorance bliss?

Yet. Think again... sometimes i feel sorry for myself.

YET. Do i have the need?

I tried my best, didn't I?

I won't deny I'm more expressive than others.

I tell my friends that that I love them.
I do.

And yet, the question slaps me in the face again.
"Do they love you?"

"Even if they say it, do they mean it?"

As mentioned.
I wouldn't know.

I choose to believe they do.
Even if it's a tiny weeny bit.
I'm contented.

But am i?
Really really really contented?

I choose to think i am.

Like i said again, some things are really beyond my control.

Take for a simple example,
I have a weak bladder.

Sometimes i just need to go toilet more frequently.

I probably slow my friends down.

So. I'm at fault.

I wish i have a bladder as huge as a giant barrel.But. this is beyond my control.

Or probably, wish I'm as gorgeous as a superstar.

But. I am not.


I may hug my friends.
During photo-taking, it's sure fine.

But on normal occasions, maybe ppl find it weird.

But why?

Maybe I'm born in the wrong country?

In western countries,

Kiss on the cheeks.

Saying, "I love you!"

A big tight hug.

It's such a common practice.

Why wait till it's too late?

Probably I'll never get to see the person again.

Maybe I'll get knock down by a car anytime.

Maybe I'll get a terminal illness that's gonna take my life soon.

My friend's mother, died within one month, upon finding out her illness.

A brain tumor that takes her life within one month.

Or worse?

My friend, Clifton, just passed away all of a sudden.

Can you imagine how fragile life actually is?

Sometimes, I wonder what ranking am I on your friends list.

Sometimes subconsciously, from your actions, i know where i stand.

And yet, i know there are many things beyond my control.

I tried my best.

I really did.

Maybe i tried too hard till it back fired?

Maybe i should sit there and do nothing?

I really don't know what to do.

That's why sometimes ppl said, Family is MOST important.
Because they will never desert you.

Friends are important.
Because they are part of your life.

To me, my friends are very important..

Because every fragment of my life includes you.

You have somehow influenced me in a way or another.

But do i have such an effect on others?

Haha.. I never know.

But in the end, as mentioned,
I choose to love all of you no matter what.