These days...

{Edited}

I wanted to talk to someone... but i felt i couldn't..

i don't know who to speak to now....

i wanted to sms someone (no one in particular) so badly yesterday......
but i held back.......

my friends are all so tight up with their own stuff....

i also don't want my problem to be another to them........

so i'm just saying it here........................


[this is then for some..]
i used to have a close friend whom i say everything to....................
i know i can tell her anything under the sun.............
but i felt we drifted apart............
every time i feel i'm trying to make things work..............
not that i don't bother now..................
just that i can't do it alone............
i'm getting weaker...............
i can't always be the one initiating........
and get disappointed whenever i initiated and got rejected..........
not once. not twice........... but........
i've tried.. i think she should know..
Imu.. just that i don't know how to get hold of u again.
i don't want to be some irritating pest keep trying to ask her out....

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

I want to tell someone (no one in particular) something.. i just want to hear advice...

-Hope this clear the doubt that it didn't create any stress or misunderstanding for anybody~ yup~

At least i know what's going on now but i don't want to explain myself further than that already...

i've tried and i'll remember the statement that one can't make another understand you completely, because sometimes one can't even understand oneself.

No wonder i don't understand what zr is saying sometimes. haha. but i've learnt to slower my pace to ask him questions and confirm with him..
=P

I shall end here~

Happy once again~!
=)

{End of edition}


We had our first serious argument yesterday.
Izzit my fault?? Izzit his fault??

I think it's more of like accumulated.

for eg. i asked, "how did you get the scar on ur eyebrow?"

Him, "oh.. when i was young, i played with a knife.."

Me, "gosh!!!"

him, "no la... my aunt chased me, then i fell."

............. zr has a habit of cracking jokes that i don't know if it's real or not..
because sometimes most of the time he talks mono-tone...
so i thought he's serious.

or next, eg. he said eat a lot...
then i was like. huh a lot?
then he said no la.. not so much..

i was like "hello.. a lot & a little.. is A LOT OF DIFFERENCE!"

then he said, actually he meant ate more than usual.

he apologised a lot of times that he's not good in communication..

but... i really get very frustrated at times..

if not, yesterday supposed to meet at ticket office @ the MRT.

he said he reached there. i was standing there. but i don't see him.

then i saw him only tapping the card, walking out.

then i said, you said u reached the ticket office, but u didn't! you lie to me!!

I got really upset... because i tot he lied.. and the thing is.. he admitted to it..

after one big round.. i snapped and said, i cannot accept dishonest bf.
i got cheated before. i get super sensitive to lies..

then he said " the moment i met you, then u scolded me for lying. i was late, so to appease u, then i just admit it. now i don't know to laugh or to cry that you're so silly to get so upset for nothing."

then i said, "because you didn't make yourself clear that u didn't know the differences between control station, ticket office etc. and u just simply admitted that u lied. and u know i hate liars. if u didn't do it, just say la."

him, "i thought admitting to it is the easy way out, so we won't quarrel."

He doesn't like me feeling suspicious of him.. he keep saying that i don't trust him.
the thing is I do! that's why whenever he said something i believed it then he keep changing his sentence making me confused. so which sentence is true? first or second? i always gotta ask him.

or. "i'm back."

then after minutes, "on my way back.."

so you're home or are you not home???

then he said, he didn't really bother about the sequence...

so izzit my fault now?

This obviously show our communication really broke down.

I'm a teacher.. i'm used to having definite and absolute answers..

just like a test / exam paper - "Please state your answers specifically."

There's no 2 correct answers.

He said i must get used to him. that he talks like this.

How to????

Can you???

Anybody hear me??

Hello hello??

Bye bye....