Love after marriage

Well... I remembered writing in one of my post that I'll work hard in this relationship...
But maybe i did not do as well as i wanted to.

I don't know if i should close one eye to ZR's messy habits.
I mean, I am also very messy, but if two person is messy, can u imagine how our house looks like?

So when our room start to become messy, i start to nag at him..
sometimes i scold him really harshly...
that's similar to a typical housewife right?
that's why men always give excuse to stray saying the wife is not loving and irritating.
I don't want to be like this.

Once he was having bad mood, so when we quarrelled,
he brought in other things -
i start to nag at him..
sometimes i scold him really harshly... (as mentioned above)
and i'm difficult to live with. :((

that really hurt me.

when we cool down, i told him i'm sad that he said i'm difficult to live with.
although he told me that he didn't mean it cos he was just having bad mood and it's his fault for all the nonsense.

but! that doesn't change his thoughts about me, cos he go around telling ppl i like to nag at him
:(

but if he doesn't throw his things all around, especially wet towels on my bed...
i have nothing to nag at him about rite?

but yea... maybe it's my fault for nagging?
i should just tell him nicely?

but i must tell him nicely 100 times a week?
and pretend i'm not frustrated about it??

i really don't know...
it's really not easy to live with another.
he knows his flaws too. at least he did not deny.



I am trying to change as well.
cos i know i am not perfect.

Maybe he's in a bad mood, and i contributed to it even more for not giving him Tender Loving Care (TLC)

I know how's my mother like... and how she nags at my dad.
I know in my heart i do not want to be like her...
unfortunately, i am like her.

at least zr told me early before marriage.
i hope i can be better.
if only be can afford a maid, our quarrels will be reduced by almost 90%.
not just physical but also mental stress.
:(

Next, would be my mentally...
we are going to be married, but i have the tendency to want to leave when we quarrel fiercely.
when we cooled down, he said, "not matter how angry i am with u, i never thought of breaking up, can you please don't give up so easily?"

i think he is right.
i think i am probably being childish like this.

i have to work on this too.

i hope i can be a good wife.

honestly, i have a good husband and i shouldn't take him for granted.
I know he really dotes on me and love me a lot.. he gives in to all my requests, he is always the first to apologise even if i was the one who's angry at little things.
what more should i ask for?

sigh... maybe i'm too greedy and really think i'm the empress who can have him do all my bidding.
i love him so much when i'm happy.
i should still love him equally when i'm angry.
he is not perfect, but neither am I.

out of the 879879822536532068797987 good things he does for me and how much he loves me,
i shouldn't be upset with his ONLY One or Two flaws...
messy, and when he's in bad mood, be prepared for him to feel upset.
that's the only two bad habits i can think of.

i should regconise and accept his feelings that he's also human who have emotions.
when i'm having bad mood, not as if i am very nice to him too.

and i'm equally messy. :(

but he never once scold or nag at me for being messy, sometimes he even help me pack
and when i'm having bad mood, he "sayang" me even more.

I'm so bad to treat him differently for the same mistake he did.

I hope this post serves as a reminder for me to reflect.