My Mental Mind

Life has been so far so good and I thank God for that.

Days have been routine.... work.. home.. sleep..

But there are little moments of happiness and blissfulness...

I am still staying with my mum.. she washes and cooks for me almost every day....
I shall be nicer to her and stop being so anal with her on how she should wash my clothes.
I should be thankful! I'm a bad daughter sometimes. Sigh.


My husband is still the kindest, sweetest and most loving man I ever know (although he still has his bad habits.. eg stepping on my precious pillow, which I also tried to step on his face to make him feel how I feel :) I'm such a good wife I know.  :)

I told him, "If I'm not a good wife, why you love me so much?"
=PPPPPPPP

HAHA!

And here's a precious pic to remind that my husband is such a sweetheart :)

I don't know how it will be like in future... I know so many couples are loving at the start.. of cos.. if not why marry...

As a teacher, I also know that as students grow older, divorce cases amongst parents increase.
Talk about Love with the test of time...

As usual, I'll scold him for all sorts of things like splashing water on the floor etc etc etc.. all the nitty-gritty things ever on earth.
Imagine this has to go on forever.... but of cos... i know he's doing his best, nowadays he hang and spread the towel on the rack etc.
With kids in the picture in future, more things to quarrel about... we won't know how loving we will be...
so we shall cherish these moments we have when we only have each other.

as usual... my mind is always calculating when to have kids, when to stop my contraceptive pills...
down to my external medication for my ance...
it also has the word "poison" on the box.

What the shit.

 Makes me real upset to be reminded why I should have Ance.. what have i done wrong.
 why must i use these products...

even if i have all the money in the world now to have a baby, I will worry for all the shit i eat and apply for my skin.

 sigh.. at the moment is money.

the ideal is to have a maid, give my mum more allowance, have a car, have baby.

reality is no money, no maid, no increase of allowance for my mum, no car, NO BABY.

Actually even if have, I'll be so worried..
I want my child to be really normal... Healthy and Happy.. No. I'm lying.

i don't mind my child in a neighbourhood school but i want him/her in the top class or at least second top class. Yes. I'm this kiasu.
And I think super far all the time. Gosh. I'm not even pregnant yet.

With so much expectation, I'm worried.
I see some of my students with special needs, my heart pour out for them..
Their parents have to put in so much more effort and money to ensure that their child can catch up...
or at least don't lag so far behind...
sigh.

seeing so many kids everyday at work and colleagues being pregnant are pushing my "maternal-instinct" to the limits.
LOL.

I'm crazy. Oh well...

5 more boxes of contraceptive to go ....

i'm still taking it because i know baby-plans are still far away, i can't imagine having major skin breakout if i stop the pills from now till the year after...

what if we decided to have baby next year.... and i'm still applying the "poison" on my face.

and how long will it take for all the nonsense out of my body.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...............

And why is the bank taking so long for their reply for our renovation loan..

I WANT TO MOVE IN NOW!!!

Erm.. actually not really too...

No mother to cook and wash for me...

I will have to mop and sweep the floor...

I must do up a duty-roster for me and my husband.

Heavy burden for all the loan, furniture cost...  blah blah blah...

Okay. I shall stop blabbering. I'm irritating myself.

Hope I have something more positive to blog next time.

Thanks and sorry for reading this nonsense post!