Am I lousy?

As mentioned in my previous post, I need lots of money to finance my flat.

I can teach tuition.. To earn more money to help ZR finance the flat.

But know what?
I don't dare..

I taught tuition during my holidays last year.

And when I was working in my previous after-school care job, I also taught.. since I have nothing to do after work.
Plus, I broke up with my ex at that period of time, so i need something to kill time too.

Now, im a student, I see many of my school mates teach tuition..
But I don't dare.. cos I will feel very stressed..

When I study, I want to do my best.
I will feel that my own homework already didn't do so well still go out and give tuition..

And if I work in school, I also didn't teach tuition cos I want to do my best in my workplace.

I can't multi-task.

But I remembered I used to work in a hotel as waitress throughout my poly days..
Why am I afraid now?
So weird.

I feel so bad for my fiancé.
He's the one paying for everything now and im not helping at all.
:((((

I'm working during this holiday.
My ex student care call me back to work, I don't mind because that's only for the holiday.

My principal asked if I'm willing to work everyday and full day.

I said yes.

Why izzit when school start I don't dare?

:(((

Next time I wonder how I'll feel having kids, will I want to play mother role and don't dare to work?

Think I need to go counseling if that's the case.